Once in awhile I took some photos that I grew to like very much :) Click to zoom in and admire the intricate details :D Before you ask, it's my hands :) One hand holding camera, one hand on the book.
50mm f1.7 and f58am in wireless mode can really do wonders :)
Actually I wanted to take some neutral pix, emotionless, but i guess what i took is rather... Make your own interpretations. They are not the best but they kinda fit into a certain theme.
Work had seriously been overwhelming I think it began to affect my sex life. Anyone looking for an expert to lay a hand on systems integration/tests development/anything electronics? Work must be easy with a slight hint of challenge, pay must be >RM4.5k (sorry for lower wages go get a bangla engineer instead) and a steady supply of photographic material near workplace will be a seriously added advantage.
Just a few lingering questions in my clouded mind recently.
- Can we survive on faith alone? I used to have faith in something, it let me down. I could be a realist in many things that people around me knows me for, but not many know I used to struggle with my own illusion. I still do. I still harbour some unrealistic hope. Like for example, getting a RM1000 payrise end of this year, when I just got a fat package last month. And comparing my salary to someone 3-4 years my senior and complaining to boss about my meager salary.
- Why we only like what we could not have? Not talking about relationships because I'm shitty in that, I know. Years ago when I'm still surviving with RM400 allowance, I'll have an orgasm when I touch an iPod. Right now I'm earning bucketloads of money, but somehow iPod losses its sex appeal on me. I'm still trying to figure out how to spend my money nowadays. Trying to find something to buy, something to get by.
- Why find someone you hate as your life partner? I seen that in some people. And I still don't understand why. Imagine living with a whining bitch/ dickhead for the rest of your life. Oh, and I forgot about the 50% divorce rate. Point is, why keeping the relationship when it's clearly not working? As a spare tyre? As a lifeboat while trying to find another bigger ship? To achieve the economic of scale? Afraid of being lonely? Ain't a relationship is supposed to make you you?
- Not a question, but I hate whining bitches. And yeah, why do they exist? They have IQ the same level as a plank. Yet, they try to be smart, act cute, do a bunch of very insensitive things, making you feel really bad, and a hundred other stupid things. You can just ignore a dick, chances are he wouldn't cause you much trouble, but when you tried to ignore a whining bitch, she talks behind you, like, really TALK so that you'll notice her and hate her a little bit more.
Ok that's just my personal opinion to the questions I asked myself. Truth is, there are still many nice persons on this earth. I just make it sound so bad because I wanted some attention myself. Hell, yeah, whatever.
Sorry for the super long update interval. Sorry for the lack of social meetups lately (not that I'm known for that anyway) Sorry for not being there. Sorry for not dropping by for a comment or smth. Sorry for being ignorant. Sorry for a thousand other things I must apologize for. Sorry for me, being me.
OK as usual I've being swamped with work lately. But I really am :) I must've left my camera there for two weeks without molesting her and she must've felt kinda lonely right now :) Maybe tomorrow I'll go out and take some photos, away from the madness in office, escaping, finding a way out.
The sign that says it all.
Thanks to impulse purchase and the creator of credit cards, finally I get a new pc for myself, after pondering for many many months.
There is no problem with my old rig, I assembled it to last for 10 years during my overclocking heydays. There is only one "small" problem though. The processor core is slightly outdated to handle number crunching that my new hobby (read: photography) requires. Not to mention the amount of RAM is insufficient to handle ram-(in)sensitive applications like photoshop and lightroom. So that left me with two choices, either upgrade the ram to 2gb or more, or to get an entirely new pc. A new 2gb stick of DDR ram will cost me... I had no idea. RM260? Add 5x that amount and I will be able to get an almost complete new pc. (don't blame me, I'm penny wise, pound foolish)
And so I get a new pc, the specs can make a grown man wept, yeah, really.
Processor: e8400 dual core, 3GHz, 6MB cache, 45nm process.
RAM: 2GB DDR2 800MHz.
HDD: 320GB SATA2 with NCQ(?)
M/B: XFX nForce 630i uATX
Casing: InWin (chapalang) uATX casing.
Okay, for those still following pc trend it's nothing to shout about. But suprisingly I am delighted to know that I could build a pc 100000x more powderful than my old pc for 1/4 the price. Take a look at the mainboard.
Look at the connectors;
The casing: You really need to come to my place to see how small it really is.
Ok, my boss sent me to Stuttgart for another short trip which was deemed rather necessary judging on how things had unfolded around here lately. It was a really short trip, but I have been lacking in internet access and email so I'm actually glad to be back.
It was already autumn and the weather is gloomy, as usual. At 2c to 10c 'hottest' plus the windchill I could barely go out of buildings to take these pics.
Lavender, though the greens are fading,
Nothing is eye catching during the day, 
I saw an old couple walking,
Two giant statues guarding the super long ( few km's)
The neverending road, covered with super tall and old trees.
No dude, the lack of updates on this blog doesn't mean I'm fking lazy. I've been struggling with deadlines. Look at my previous posts, it's all about struggling with deadlines. But I still wanna say it, I've been so swamped with work recently. And I've been taking breaks off my photographic journey so that I could catch up with some office tasks. Hope my increment better compensate me properly for my dedication, else I'd just get my fk outta here.
And yeah, no pictures.
And when the night falls,
I realize there is nothing worth to see,
I am alone with all the things I've done,
On my lips I feel the frown,
Because there is nothing left for me to say.
So I entertained the swirling thoughts of you in my head,
Each and every time it hurts the same,
The pain never really go away,
Every time I try to stand up,
I trip, I fall, I hurt myself again.
I can't seem to stand up again,
The chain, the pain, it's all too much,
They held me to my sins,
Through which I hurt your feelings,
Hearts that were never meant to be broken,
But I hurt you anyway.
To this sin I did condemn,
please forgive me and my mistakes,
Cuz it really hurts when I tried to breathe,
so I hold my breathe,
But here comes death,
I don't want to go,
Before you let me go.
Before you forgive me,
Break me free,
Save me from myself,
Say you'll forgive me.
Hold me tight,
And say that you'll forgive me.
Hold me with all your might,
and save me.
p/s: just some random shot of inspiration.
